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MY
EXPERIENCES WITH THE "PARANORMAL"
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Many people, when seeing the word "Paranormal"
sneer, laugh, or hide behind the mask society has told them they
must show around such things, or risk being laughed at themselves,
and that anyone who believes in such must be ignorant, stupid or
crazy.
Actually, I've always loved science, but I've never been so damned
arrogant or stupid as to think we mere Mortals know anything but
a blip, a fraction, of this ancient, vast Universe. I've
seen way too much strange stuff to consider the world "simple
and mechanical". This Universe is not clockwork.
Here I'll talk of those things I've personally experienced,
and are in chronological order.
- An eerie place
- UFO sighting, Moffat, Scotland, 1981
- Dreams of Premonition
- Spirit of "Good"
- Spirit of "Evil"
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1) AN EERIE PLACE
Many folk have encountered a place that gives them
the "heebeejeebees", hehe ;) It is mostly fear of unknown,
fear due to old legends and myths, fear due to what other people
tell you, and such like. Sometimes though, it's not so simple.
When I was a kid, about 8 or so, a great friend
took me a long walk through the beautiful woods near our town, gorgeous
place! But at one place, I got a terrible feeling of fear, being
a kid, only thing I could associate such a feeling of dread with
was "vampires", from film etc, I remember that quite vividly.
Of course kids do get such fancies, but this was
different.
There's nothing very unusual about the place I mention,
I don't want to describe in case I bias anyone who tries to examine
the area. There are no objects, no legends, nothing as to why
it such give such a feeling, because it's not just me, many people
have experienced the same creepiness.
There is an old graveyard nearby for family pets, from 1700 to 1800s,
of the noble family who's land it was on, but, this graveyards in
opposite direciton, quite some distance away, and has no bad associations
with it, quite the reverse.
It's outdoors, so no odd draughts, electrical fields
or whatever.
So, just a bad, lingering childhood fancy? What
of the other people though? People can take frights in the solitary
surroundings of forest, but...why that spot? Why haven't other areas
given me such a eerie feeling? I've been in lots of forests and
woods, so why only that place? I honestly don't know. I do not believe
it's as simple as chidlhood fright lingering, other areas as a kid
have bad associations to me, but don't give me the creeps!
There could be a mundane reason, but I can't think
of one that makes sense.
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2) UFO sighting, Moffat, Scotland,
1981
Moffat is a beautiful, small town in the hills of
the Borders of Scotland. A truly lovely area :) It was and maybe
still is, heavily used by the RAF and American airforce for low
fly training, so it was common to see Tornadoes and other craft
whizzing above at only a hundred foot above your head, hehe.
One night, we were staying therewith a friend, I
was a young teenager at the time, along with my mother, her friend
and daughter. Their home was in the bottom of the valley, which
is about 600 yards across at bottom, 600' to 1000' high hillsides,
the valley is long and very sinous. I can't recall the exact day
or month, just that it was a perfectly still, clear night, no clouds,
warm but not hot.
Some commotion outside made us go out to look...
A UFO was flying around.
Not what you'd expect to see! Many people had come out to see it,
animals were barking, or excited by the thing. It was a dark object,
triangular in section, that is, through the side, it had glowing
lights on each of it's three apexes, if I recall correctly, one
was blue and I think the other two white.
It occluded the stars behind it, so I knew it was a solid object.
It made no sound. It didn't hover like a helicopter, which shake
and vibrate a lot, this thing could hover dead still, no downdraft
(which is ferocious with a helicopter, no trees or such were being
affected), and it moved a round in a very smooth, graceful manner,
completely unlike any vehicle in the air I have ever seen then or
since.
then it was joined suddenly by 2 more of it's ilk,
which just seemed to come down from way up high. These things then
flew around, in an area roughly 200' to 800' above us, quite a small
area across the valley like maybe a circle 600 yards or so across,
horizontally.
They could speed up from standstill to incredible speed and be across
the far side of the valley in a split second, and stop dead. That
is IMPOSSIBLE. They could do right angled turns, IMPOSSIBLE for
any flying vechile we know, or any damn thing of mass, to do. They
must have been going MACH4 or so at times, by rough guess by end
of those sprints, but no sound.
One hovered between two very large trees, for some
time, giving me a good distance and rough size of the vehicle. the
first tree was about 250 to 300 yards away, next was 600 to 700
yards away. Trees were massive 80'+ or so high. the vehicle hovered
up near the height of the closer tree but beyond it a bit, so it
must have been some 30' to 40' long. As said, triangular in section,
now because it was black and seemed to reflect no light what so
ever, I can't tell any detail, it may have been more complex than
merely triangular, but it's shape could only be seen by what it
passed in front or behind of.
Not long after this, all three vehicles flew up
into the sky, and vanished. The performance had went on for a good
20+ minutes. Most of the town had seen it, lot of folk of course
wouldn't talk about it afterward to avoid being laughed at. Similar
strange things were seen all across Southern Scotland that night,
as I recall it was on the news and in the Dumfries newspapers.
What was it? well I can assure you, no bloody aircraft
I have ever seen can or COULD fly like that, it's beyond known abilities.
So, it was either some super secret military craft with a power
source and propulsion way beyond anything our entire science knows
about, or it was an alien vehicle, or something totally beyond our
ken.
The Border region there area is a fault zone, so
folk may come up wit the "oh it was magnetic fields causing
delusion" stuff, which I regard that as utter crap. Not only
was this seen by folk seperated by a mile or more apart, it was
seen across 150 miles of land. The magnetic force needed to induce
delusions is apparently 15,000 times+ the Earth's magnetic field
strength. A force THAT powerful over an area THAT big would have
caused absolute damn havoc and stood out like a sore thumb, there
should heve been aurora, electricla discharges, things being magnetized
etc if such a field existed. But, no, no such things occured.
The faults in the Borders are weak anyway, producing
no more than 3 on the Richter scale and the like every dozne years
maybe. Most Humans liv eon or near fault lines! They cause the geogrpahy
we like and exploit. So if UFO's are caused by "fault lines"
then every bugger along the Pacific RIng of Fire should have seen
several! ;)
Everyone saw the *same damn thing*, folk AND animals,
were all following the same points in the sky as I was, I looked...if
folk were delusional, and imagining this, how the hell could they
and many animals look at same areas in sky, over such a large sized
area, AND have the exact same story?
Oh and I had binoculars, so I had a damn good look
at it all.
Nor could it have been a mirage. no wavering, perfectly
clear, small object, high speed, no distortion etc.
I do not regard this as "paranormal",
it had no feeling of "the unnatural" to me, it was a "UFO
sighting", maybe one day we'll find out what it was, but I
believe it was a thing of the ordinary world, just not something
we understand as yet.
I didn't find it at all scary, jsut deeply intriguing
and positive.
Have a look at the Belgian UFO scares of late 80s
and 90s. They had a UFO on 3 groudn radar and 2 fighter aircraft's
radar, etc. UFO's are real, but what they are, is another
matter.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q4JsPSKYypk
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3) DREAMS OF PREMONITION
(The Second Sight)
Now, I can't be exactly sure when I started having
these, early teens but not exact date.
I keep having dreams where I see things, exactly
as I see them normally, through my eyes, but of things I do and
see in the future. These are NOT "deja vu", these are
literal things which occur precisely as I see them, and when it's
say, a news item on the TV, I sure as hell can't have deja vu about
a specific event in a foreign country!
These dreams are also very...difficult, unlike other
dreams, they stick out. I'll try and explain this as best as I can:
Normal events have an order, a causality
to them, cause and effect, the flow of time. A door opens, a person
appears, and welcomes you...you expect and have no problem with
the normal flow of events. But when it's not expected, it is very
upsetting, for example, a black car seems to come from nowere on
a dark night and scares the hell out of you, though you were in
little or no danger. This is because you didn't expect the car,
it wasn't seen due to dark night, so the jarring of your normal
sensibilities is shocking.
Premonitions have a similar very jarring feel to
them. To me, they feel like a "mental concept made of spiky
steel wires, that your brain doesn't want to touch, and rolls around
in your mind trying to make sense of it"
These dreams made me realize that our minds works
with "mental concepts", a car for example, is not the
words "car", in our minds, a "car" is a complex
mental construct. I imagine these like the shape of a virus, a central
body surrounded by many spikey attachments: the "car"
is in the centre, and all the things we associated with "car",
such as "travel", "petrol", "trips",
"speed" etc, are attached to it and form "hooks"
we use to link it to other mental constructs, to build our understanding
of the world.
Each item links to another by the "hooks",
buidling up a complex web of udnerstanding, not mere dry facts!
Our memories/thoughts are NOT like sheets of paper, but incredibly
complex, changing webs.
So these dreams of premonition are "uncomfortable"
because they do not have the "hooks" properly associated
with them, because they lack a sense of time and place etc. For
example, you see a newspaper in a dream, with some important news
event. Even though it says "LOCKERBIE BOMBING" on the
front cover and shows the picture, you cannot understand it, because
it lacks any sense of normal menaing or comprehension, you didn't
go into a shop, you didn't see the newsaper, you didn't buy it....therefore
it's "alien", you cannot really graps it even though you
should be able to.
Things which are outside the normal timestream,
the normal flow of events, are excruciatingly difficult to comprehend,
no matter how simple they are.
Most of these dreams were mundane, like opening
the fridge to ge tmilk, meeting a friend etc. Some though were of
disasters and upsetting events etc. Most vivid one I recall was
the Lockerbie Bombing
I told my friends what I had seen 2 weeks before it had happened,
I just didn't know WHAT I had seen meant or where it was: fire,
flames dark night, a busy road, houses.
When it came on the TV that terrible night, the TV showed the exact
scene, of the burning houses.
Now I have ME/CFS a nasty illness which ruins your
sleep, amongst many other things, the sleep distrubance is one of
it's major sysmptoms, but has also messed up my "future"
dreams, I rarely have them now, or, maybe I just don't remember
them so much, I dont' know.
For weeks before the Boxing Day Tsunami, I had dream after dream
of dams breaking, floods, towns washed away...I think I was seeing
the tsunami, and vague memories of it were triggering off more normal
dreams based off the horror.
9/11 I had a dream that didn't make sense untilit
occured in reality: I saw a tiny (sized) movie on the Internet of
a plane crashing into a building, the 9/11 attacks...I thought it
was a clip from a new Spider Man movie or something because I simply
couldn't make any sense of it.
My pals knew these things weren't a joke as I was
right time and time again.
Very difficult to live with that stuff, I wondered
if time was set in stone and we couldnt' change our own fate, our
own path. But I had a few dreams where things went...soft, bendable,
fuzzy in the middle, hard to describe, it was showing that although
maybe the start and end of a series of events couldnt' be changed,
MY actions could be changed :)
From all this, I personally believe that our minds
can exist outside Time, maybe they exist in some weird quantum state,
where time doesn't exist, there is no past or future, it's all a
jumble and can be seen at whim?
I'm Scots, and there's a lot of this kind of ability
about, but most folk simply don't want to talk about it. Some of
Louis L'Amour's "Sackett" books describe incidents of
the "Second Sight",so I believe many people have such
experiences, but it's not talked about much, alas.
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4) SPIRIT OF "GOOD"
One night when I was about 13, there was a strange
presence in our house, there was a smell like lavender and roses.
Wondering what was going on I investigated with my Mum, who was
in a right state about this.
Best as I can describe it, there was a presence,
it radiated watmth and love, compassion and understanding, there
was no ego, no room for hate or harm, just mind blowingly..."good".
Kindess, love, understanding :)
Now, my family isn't religious or superstitious
in the normal sense of the uses. Lot of my family are Mormon, some
are atheists, some Protestant of various types, but we sure aren't
ignorant or zealots.
Even though we come from a working class family, reading and learning
were a big thing, and, even the "religious" folks weren't
extreme or overt, or obnoxious about it. Faith was important:
concern for others love, love of life, and kindly humour, but not
"churchiness" if you know what I mean? We had a spiritual
outlook but not "blind sheep", dogmatism or the damn sectarian
crap that is such a blight across Scotland and Ireland
oh there were a couple of nitwits, every family has some, hehe,
but in general, that sort of stuff was NOT liked or encouraged,
neither ignorance, stupidity or sectarianism. Our folks have friends
and distant family from every race creed and colour under the Sun.
Life is so *precious*.
So, I am not going to call this thing "God,"
or the "Holy Spirit" (though I think that's closest to
what it may have been), because everybody's bloody religion
wants to own and control everything....well, tough luck, sunshines,
you do NOT CONTROL THESE POWERS!!! NO BUGGER ON EARTH CONTROLS THESE!!
Jeesh, these things are so...beyond us, it's like
2 flees arguing over which of them owns the man who owns the dog
the two fleas live on, lol!! ;)
This thing was of absolute GOOD, it meant only weil
to all, and was amazing :) But ,these things are oh, dangerous,
because you see aferwards in stark clarity how much of what we Humans
do is such pathetic, sad, shabby crap, we don't live up to what
we really are. You can't stand the lies, the cruelty, the bullshit,
the hate, and it makes it hard to live with such. :(
I believe in "God" and that "God"
is "good", but what those words mean, who/what God is....beyond
us, we just put our OWN beliefs on such things.
You want to believe in God and Jesus, Yaweh and Moses, Allah and
Muhammed, Ahura Mazda and Zoroaster, Odin or Tyr, Queatzacoatl,
or whatever....hey, fine by me, people see these things through
what their own eyes will let them see!!! You can't own or control
them, people will see in them what their own hearts chose to
let in.
But there is no bloody room in "Good"
for hate, murder, wicked lies, religions controlling people and
"Owning God", and all the other crap. God is, the
rest is people
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5) SPIRIT OF "EVIL"
Theis was a few years after the encounter with "Good".
We'd moved into a new house. A friend of ours had been talking about
spirits and mediums and getting involced in such. Now, frankly I
know most such stuff is flim-flam, and that most pagans are not
evil-doers and the other malarky nitwits accuse of them of. I'm
sure "God" would rather someone was a good pagan or atheist,
than a lousy "Christian" or another "denomination",
lol ;)
Anyway, she was a nice perosn, but there was an
increasing feeling of, something horrible being around her. One
day in town I saw folk flinching and getting out of her way, even
tourists, who couldn't have known her, but there was nothing to
explain such behaviour as she was nice in person, manners and appearance.
She was saying the "thing" was leaving her drained and
tired though, why anyone would allow such a thing to "haunt"
them is beyond me.
From what a friend told me, and from other bits
and bobs, while this was going on, a local farmer had chased a coven
off his land one night at the end of a shotgun,and I do NOT mean
Wiccans or other such harmless folks. I mean actual black
magic. Most such assholes are just using it as an excuse for sexual
kinks and illicit thrills, some though, are more dangerous.
One night our friend came into our house and the
sensation of evil was overpowering. My mum said she saw mist forming
on the floor and it got terribly cold, I instead looked up, and
saw "it".
The ceiling seemed to recede far into the distance
like one of the trick shots they do in some films. There was a loathsome
darkness, filled with floating "eyes", or souls, and it
looked at me, I mean relaly looked at me.
When you look at another perosn, you do see somewhat into
them as a person, you know that's a person, and usually, their feelings
etc. If you look into the eyes of some of the mentally unhinged
or foul, you know that's not "right".
Well, looking into the "eyes" of "Evil",
not only did I know it recognized me, I realized it was incredibly
intelligent. I used to be bloody clever, this was a lot smarter
than me by orders of magnitude.
I it was all ego, hate, nihilism, it wanted everything corrupted
and destroyed. it didn't want ot rule, but to infect (with it's
hate/nihilism) and destroy all creation. And it was "alien",
now, I do not mean "alien from another planet", no, I
mean completely bloody "wrong", you cannot imagine that,
nor knowing that it was sentinet/intelligent...you cna't imagine
such things. They *are real*.
I have a great imagination, stories art etc, but
it's MY imagination, you cannot imagine things that are "alien",
completely outside the normal world.
Incredibly distressing.
Sometime later a relative came to visit, and the
town now gave her the creeps, we hadn't discussed this, she said
it soon as we saw her.
I mostly shut this episode out of my mind as it
was too horrible. Then years later I was reading a comic and saw
a depiction of a demonic being, a "darkness with eyes"
which they called a "Lloigor". Brought it all back.
The comic was just released ("Zenith" storyline in 2000AD).
This was long before the Net, and so years later I looked this name
up, wondering how they knew of what I had saw, was it a coincidence?
In the fictional Mythos of H P Lovecraft, a writer had described
the "Lloigor" as living in the borders of Scotland. Now
I hadn't read any such book, I knew damn well what ones I had as
I loved reading and had a hell of a memory. Kind of horror books
I was reading back then were James Herbert, not Lovecraft. You can
read about this stuff here, not the critter I saw bar the "Zenith"
description:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lloigor_(Cthulhu_Mythos_race)
obviously, fictional, various writers adding/changing
the entire idea/description over time. But, the image of "darkness
with eyes", that wasn't done until the comic version, which
occured long after me seeing the damn thing.
Now If was was trying to hoodwink folk or build
myself up in their eyes, I wouldn't mention such a thing, but I'm
almost pathologically honest, lol ;)
I just think people have touched up on this horrible
thing at times.
This is the thing I believe responsible for much
of Man's woes. No it can't make people do evil deeds, but
it can influence them. It is a horror of despair and nihilism. Killing
by poison and suffocation are it's favourites, the lack of life,
the lack of energy. Suicide murders are "good" for it
too, the killer is dead and can't redeem themselves and leave nothing
but pain and hate behind it, that's how it works, by spreading hate
and fear and pain, pushing weak folk into doing evil things.
Satan, Lucifer, Ahriman, call it what you will.
It is the enemy of All that exists.
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Been a few other minor things as well, but that's
the main "soild" ones. I leave you to sort things out
for yourself. Idiots that sneer, are ignorant.
From my experiences, our world of Causality, of
Time, is not the way spirits etc work. We are anchored in it, they
are not.
Despite all the recent stupid crap, Good and Evil
are real. Alas for centuries, bigots and zealots used them
as tools, and were used by Evil. They demanded that they and they
alone knew and controlled passage to "God". Jeesh *rolls
eyes*. Ants do not build and own the motorway, but they can make
it a messier place...
Trying for moderation is good, but not when it goes
too far into cowardice. Zealotry is just fear, cowardice and ego
gone mad.
Life's never easy, but it's up to the individual
to walk it THEIR way, all you have the right to do is offer assistance,and
try to stop those who'd do actual harm, not things you dislike,
but actual harm, and even then you have to be damn careful. You
CANNOT fight Evil with Evil, because only Evil wins! Evil begets
evil. "By their fruits ye shall know them"
People in groups get more and more mad and stupid,
the group becomes everything, the ethos it's meant to be about is
ignored as increasing the group's power, destroying its enemies
becomes paramount. It leads to a cycle of incestous, spiralling
madness, we've seen it form the boardrooms of the banks, the crematoria
of Auschwitz.
WAKE UP PEOPLE, you are sleep walking your way to
Hell. Not the "Hell of the Churches", but ignoring every
damn wonderful thing we have, that makes us Human, turning
a wonderful world into a rubbish dump and our souls into haunted
shadows. Of selling your souls for cheap geegaws. Of being afraid
of petty little idiots and following them regardless of common sense,
to the point you support evil deeds, torture, wars, mass murder,
robbery on grand scales, pollution that wrecks continents....
Sigh.
Anyway, as a fella once said "May your God,
go with you" :)
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All original art, writing on this site, copyright of
Steven James, "Silverblade the Enchanter" ©2010
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